Today was a binge/purge day. Blerrrg. I haven't done that in so long. I made a good dinner; brie, apple and arugula quesadillas, 364 calories a quesadilla. I would have been under my ABC limit if I only ate that, like I planned, but my dad came home with a bag of chocolate chips and asked me to make him cookies, and he's been so down about everything I had to do it. And once I had cookies I wanted to eat everything else. I'm glad I made them though. My dad is one of the greatest people who ever lived. And I'm not just saying that because he's my dad. For years he worked providing prosthetic limbs to land mine/natural disaster victims in third world countries. After that he created a social services program to help underprivileged, disabled, and abused kids. He found foster homes, adoptive parents, night school classes, tutors, driver's ed, apartments, and so much more for these kids that couldn't get any help from anyone else. But then they lost their grant money, some foster parents turned out to be horrible people, and the whole program changed entirely and moved hours and hours away. He has helped SO many people and he gets nothing in return. He gets less than nothing in return. He gets to miss out on his own family. He gets to drive hours and hours away from home almost every day. He gets to come home in the middle of the night to a cold dinner and everyone asleep. He gets to make less money than people who are just starting out. It's not fair. He is such a great person, he goes above and beyond what anyone else does. So he deserves all the cookies he can eat. We ate almost all of the cookies and watched Fringe, because the two of us always watch Fringe. Nobody else likes it. I don't even really like it, I just like watching it with him. And then I went upstairs, turned the shower on, and puked, which made me feel awful but better at the same time. I do not like doing it in this house. My dad caught me doing it once, months ago. He gets so worried, he feels he needs to help me and he just has enough to deal with already. I'm not going to do it again if I can help it. I love my dad. I want things to get better.
Well this is a depressing post.
I just had some warm milk and melatonin, hoping to sleep through the night.
Today I Ate
coffee - 5
mini tortilla with nutella - 280
8 saltines with peanut butter - 476
brie, apple, and arugula quesadillas - 364 calories
cookies - A BUNCH.
total: whatever i puked anyway.
abc limit: 400
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