Spent the night with my ex. I am like 99% sure he is a hypnotist. That is the only explanation. He's been SUCH an asshole but we keep on bangin'. Siiiiigh. He's cheated on me like a billion times, makes fun of me constantly, and left me for another girl TWICE. A whole lot of my self esteem issues can be traced back to him. But I really like sex and I don't have a whole lot of options. On the bright side, I bet it burns a whole lot of calories! And I am feeling pretty motivated not to eat since he is super skinny and tells me I am fat and out of shape. Aaagh SHOULD NOT WANT TO BANG. But I do. What is wrong with me?!
I want to go to Toronto to visit my friend. I don't make friends easily and I can never keep them long, which sucks. I really miss her. I am seriously thinking of hitch hiking but my passport just expired and I have babysitting obligations all month and my parents are talking about sending me to stay with my grandparents in Boston to help take care of my grandmother for awhile. That scares me. When you add the whole ex boyfriend situation in I am feeling like I'm being sucked into a life I REALLY don't want to be in. I'll just keep agreeing to babysit one more day, help out one more person, see him one more time, until I have a job and a relationship and an apartment and I won't be able to leave. As soon as I get my passport and babysitting money I am finding a new place to be. I am sick of Massachusetts. I am sick of everyone looking down on everyone else and always scowling and cold. And Nova Scotia's nice and friendly but there is nothing to do and I don't fit in. It shouldn't be this hard to find a place where I feel like I can stay still.
Things I Ate Today
Chicken Parmesan Sandwich (purged)
Pesto Onion Pizza (purged)
tomorrow i will do better.
No comments:
Post a Comment